[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.
a moment of silence for all those cool ideas you had when you were falling asleep that you totally thought you’d remember but tragically didn’t in the morning.
Step 1: Comment on a woman’s attractiveness on every single occasion in every single venue no matter how irrelevant it is. Build up a dating culture entirely dependent on a female’s beauty. Teach children that only attractive women will ever get anywhere in life, will ever be praised, will ever find love and have a family, will ever have a chance at happiness, are worth knowing, are worth being.
Step 2: Mock women for caring about how they look. Call them shallow.
- Me: I don't get it, if he's straight then why would always go out of his way to eat breakfast with me??
- My friend: This may sound crazy, but maybe he actually likes being your friend.
- Me: .... No that can't be it ....
a $15 gift card to Louis Vuitton
*buys a piece of dust floating in the air*
a girl told me that i dont have a boyfriend because im “a slut” and “guys dont like sluts” which is funny because i thought i didnt have one because im gay